Benjamin is not the easiest child during diaper changes. Ever since he started crawling you just never know what you're going to get on that changing table. Sometimes he lays nicely and is just the most perfect little boy. Other times he turns into this freakishly strong Hulk of a toddler who flips around in the blink of an eye. I'm not exactly sure how a 23 pound person can out-maneuver and strong-arm a (I'm not disclosing my weight) grown woman, but somehow Benjamin manages to muster enough strength and speed to make diaper changes last for what seems like an eternity. By the end of those changes we are both in a sweat and we both need a hug. Jeff and I have discovered a few tricks that involve singing, dancing, zerberts and so on (this is where I came up with "What's New Poopy Pants" ala Tom Jones). It's like the Cooper comedy hour every time we go to the changing table. Most of the time we can find something to distract Benjamin or entertain him for the duration, but every once in a while he tires of our usual tricks and we have to think up something new in a hurry.
About a week ago I was trying to change Ben's diaper. I say trying because we were mostly just wrestling one another. In a moment of desperation I grabbed a bottle of lotion that was nearby, put it atop my head and said in my most animated bucket-head voice, "I've got a bottle on my head. I'm crazy bottle-head lady. Now give me some candy." Ben laughed. I did it again and he laughed harder. And so I continued to come up with variations as I changed his diaper and all the while he laid perfectly still, smiling and giggling. So now every time I change him I come up with as many cheap Halloween costumes as I can. Usually Benjamin provides me with a few ideas.
I've got a sock for a hand. I'm crazy sock-hand. Now give me some candy.
I've got a diaper on my booty. I'm crazy diaper-booty. Now give me some candy.
I've got some snot on my face. I'm crazy snot-face man. Now give me some candy.
I just can't wait to see how people respond to our little act the next time I have to change a diaper in the Target restroom. "I've got a paper towel for a face. I'm crazy paper towel-face. Now give me some candy."
1 comment:
You're so funny! I usually keep small toys in the top drawer and pull one out each time we have a diaper change. It usually distracts long enough for me to get him changed. But your way, sounds way more fun!
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