Grandma's Rhubarb Cake and Cobbler

I'm not really the type to hoard recipes. I figure good food is one of life's pleasure and everybody should enjoy it. Besides, my grandma would have shared these recipes with you. In fact, she probably would have baked them up for you herself and put on a fresh pot of coffee. So here are my two favorite rhubarb recipes in the world. If you have a good one, please share!

Grandma's Rhubarb Cobbler
4 cups rhubarb
1 cup sugar
Mix together and bake in 9x13" pan at 350 degrees until juicy

Meanwhile prepare the following and crumble over the rhubarb mixture:
3/4 cup margarine (I use butter)
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups coconut
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp vanilla
nuts if desired

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes

Grandma's Rhubarb Cake
(This cake is somewhat dense. Reminds me of a coffee cake, but not too heavy)
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup shortening
1 egg
1 cup sour milk*
1 tsp baking soda
2 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 to 2 cups rhubarb, cut fine

*If you don't have buttermilk take one tbsp vinegar and add enough milk to make one cup*

Mix together. Pour mixture into 9x13" pan. Mix together 1/2 cup sugar and 1 tsp cinnamon. Sprinkle cinnamon sugar mixture over cake batter. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes.

Enjoy!

Rhubarb Monster

I love sweets. Chocolate is my weakness, but I can enjoy pretty much any sweet under the sun (which is probably why I can't seem to lose the rest of this "baby" weight). There are a few seasonal goodies that I cannot resist and it upsets me when their season has passed knowing that I'll have to wait an entire year before I can enjoy them again. Seriously, I get emotional about my sweets. You can ask my husband who made the mistake of taking my last bite of dessert once. Most of my favorite goodies can be made anytime of year, but some are limited to our short summers. One such dessert: rhubarb cobbler. I don't know what exactly happens to me each summer, but it has something to do with rhubarb and sugar and the oven. I turn into this rhubarb hungry monster. I've actually caught myself coveting my neighbors humongous rhubarb plants. I'm pretty sure she caught me too because each summer she has brought over a big bag of rhubarb for me. Love her for that! When we moved into our house we discovered two rhubarb plants that were fair in size. Typically I can harvest 8-10 cups of rhubarb from them, which you would think is plenty for our small family. But if you had ever tasted my grandma's recipes for rhubarb cake and cobbler, you would know that there can never be enough rhubarb. So thanks to my sweet neighbor across the street who shares and doesn't judge me for coveting her plants. Don't worry...I brought her some rhubarb cobbler. I'd bring you some too if you would share your rhubarb with me, but you haven't.

Bon bons

My husband is so sweet. He brought some chocolates home for me the other day to thank me for "all of the hard work" I had done last week. So I sat on the couch and ate them. Do you know how stay-at-home moms developed a reputation for sitting on the couch and eating bonbons? It's because they deserve to sit on the couch and eat bonbons. Before I got married or had Benjamin, I was a busy gal. I worked full time, went to the gym daily, and had some kind of activity almost every day of the week. Add to that housework (or apartment work I guess), for which I had sole responsibility, and my plate was full. After Jeff and I got married things felt a little busier but mostly stayed the same, although I tried not to serve cereal for dinner every night as I did when I was single. We were both busy working and trying to keep our place livable while making time for our friends, family and each other. Well now we have a little boy and I've hung up my teaching hat for the time being to stay at home with him and to support my husband's career by taking care of all the things that I can on my own. You would think that I would have all of the time in the world compared to when I was a working girl, but I don't. Now I really know what busy is. It's not that my schedule is busier. I have fewer things on the calendar than I ever have in my adult life. And my responsibilities are limited to my family and house. But it seems that I have less time to do the things that I want to than ever before. So even though my schedule is lighter, my plate feels heavier. And because I do stay at home, I feel that it's my job to do everything (or as much as I can) without my husband pitching in to help. Afterall, he puts long hours in at his job, so why should he have to put long hours into my job too? Jeff doesn't put any pressure on me to do this or that, and he happily helps when I need him to, but it always leaves me with this feeling of inadequacy or failure when I can't do everything on my own. Each day I hurry about trying to do as much as I can so that my hard-working husband can come home and relax. Every moment seems to be filled with something...diapers, laundry, dishes, cooking, sweeping, comforting baby, grocery shopping, entertaining baby, going to the bank, picking up toys, feeding baby, and on and on and on. There is no coffee break or lunch break in my work day. There is no quiet drive to and from work in the car. There is no chit-chatting with adults around the water cooler or in the cafeteria or break room. When being a homemaker is your job, you don't get time off from work and you don't get to leave your work at the office because your home is your office. There is always something to do and so it's hard to feel okay about having some down time because any time I'm at home, I'm on the job. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I love taking care of my baby and my husband and my house and I wouldn't have it any other way. But it is hard work and there is a burden (self-inflicted) to do everything until everything is done. Since I don't earn a paycheck I feel I have to earn a break, but I don't really feel like I deserve one because my work is never done. So if a stay-at-home mom wants to sit on the couch to eat bonbons while writing a little blog or checking her Facebook or watching the Today show, you'll understand that she deserves a little break from her work too. And if any of the other homemakers out there are as lucky as I am, their husbands will supply the bonbons (or truffles in my case).

Garage Sale Self-Discovery

I'm getting ready for a garage sale this week. In the past I've just boxed things up and dropped them off at Goodwill periodically. A box of books here, a box of clothes there. But this year I've come to the conclusion that we need to really clean house and scale down. Our closets are ridiculous. I'm going through closets and boxes and cupboards and anyplace else I can think to look sifting and sorting through childhood toys, teaching materials, books and more.



Getting ready for this garage sale has shown me a few things...

1. We have a lot of junk
2. I had a great childhood
3. I miss having my grandparents
4. I loved being a teacher and I was pretty good at it
5. I don't have to hold on to things I'm not using. They are just things.
6. My favorite book is "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" (I have 4 copies)
7. I LOVE children's books (I'm scaling down from 5 to 3 boxes - OUCH!)
8. I can't wait to watch Ben play with my old toys and read my old books
9. Purging is therapeutic
10.The best things I have are either working at the hospital, sleeping in the crib upstairs, or curled up on the couch watching squirrels outside the window.

Hello, It's Mr. Nasty!

"Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone provokes you and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about."

That's a quote from my all time favorite movie, "You've Got Mail". My husband teases me that YGM shouldn't be anybody's favorite movie. He wonders how I can love a movie where the leading man is a total jerk to the leading lady, ruins her career/life, and then realizes he made a mistake and gets the girl in the end. "Braveheart"- Now that's a movie. I guess he has a point, but I love it nonetheless.

Back to the quote though. Do you ever feel like you've become the worst version of yourself? I do. Frequently. Sometimes I look back at my behavior and realize how selfish and unfair or unloving I have been. I feel so justified when that Pandora's box is opening up, but then when I really think about my part in whatever is happening around me I'm completely humbled. I wonder how can I be lovable? Maybe you don't know what I'm talking about, but I think when most people stop and look in the "mirror", the reflection they see is one their not always proud of. Sometimes when I see that reflection I see a woman who is blessed and loved and who has love to share with those around her. At other times, the hateful bits are in the forefront. I realize that I don't deserve all that I have...not the love of my husband and son, or of my family and friends, and I especially don't deserve the love that God shows to me. All of these blessings are gifts to an undeserving woman who struggles with being the person God created her to be.

So what's a girl to do with such an realization? I guess I'll just keep trying to follow Jesus, to purge the hateful bits, to show love and grace to those around me. After all, I'm only living this life and experiencing all its blessings because Somebody else has shown love and grace to me.

Garbage Walk

The weather was hot and steamy today. I'm not made for this kind of thing. I'm a North Dakota girl living in Minnesota. If I wanted hot, sticky weather I would like in the south. At any rate, I've been trying to be more disciplined with my exercise so I took Benjamin out for a morning walk in order to try to beat the heat, something that's a little hard to do when the temperature is 80 degrees upon waking. The first part of our walk wasn't too terrible, but Osa lasted all of 1/2 mile before she threw in the towel. We dropped her off at home and continued on our way. We got about 3 1/2 miles into our walk and had a mile to go. By this time, it was steaming outside. I was completely drenched. I pushed Benjamin up a steep hill while he napped comfortably in his stroller underneath his sunshade. It was hard work. Really hard. But I've gotten through tough exercise in high heat and high humidity. The real problem was the garbage. It was garbage day in the neighborhood we were plowing through. House after house there were large stinking garbage bins filled with garbage. You know how pleasant it is to walk into a house with freshly baked goodies, their sweet aroma filling the air? Well this was completely the opposite of that. It was almost as if the garbage bins had become trash ovens and the fumes were pungeant and permeating the entire neighborhood. All the while I was breathing heavy through my mouth as I lumbered up the hill and thus endured one of the most disgusting miles of my exercise life (yes, there are others * ). Why am I sharing this garbage walk experience with you? I want you to know that if the weather is hot and humid and it's garbage day, you should think twice about going outdoors for exercise.

*Other gross workouts involve a farting cyclist and a runner with such a high blood alcohol level she was sweating beer.

The Coon Dog and the Scaredy Cat

I get such a kick out of dogs. Their little personalities can be so funny. I'm thinking about it tonight because we are dog sitting for some friends whose dog is about a year older than Osa and about the same size...a little Yorkie looking terrier, but bigger than a Yorkie, whatever that breed is. We're having a thunderstorm and the little terrier is frantic. She's pacing, looking out windows, hiding under tables, and crawling all over me. Then there's Osa. She is scratching at the door and ringing her bell to go outside. I know for a fact that she does not need to go out to do her duties because that was all taken care of just a little while ago. She wants to play in the lightening and watch the storm. She acts like she's this fearless brute when really she can be such a timid little thing. If a stranger reaches to pet her, she cowers away from them. And toddlers...forget about it. She is frightened of the baby gates, but she'll tree a raccoon no problem. It's like like I have 2 different dogs. The coon dog and the scaredy cat. But I love her and her dueling personalities.

Little Gifts

Sometimes in life we make pleas to God, perhaps concerning the health of a loved one or to get us out of a bad situation. At other times we make requests that are not so desperate, but still very significant, maybe to get that new job or to sell the house. And then there are times when we don't even ask for something, but God sends us little gifts because he knows what brings us joy.

Yesterday I had the camera out and was taking pictures of Benjamin and Osa in the backyard, just enjoying the warm weather and sunshine with my boy and the dog. As we came back into the house I thought it would be fun to see some deer so that I could try to get another picture. Within the hour, there were four deer in the back, so I snatched up my camera and took this picture.

A little while later, I was sending my folks an email of a sweet little picture I had taken of a sparrow. In the message I wrote how I'd like to be able to spot a cardinal and get a picture of that. Again, within just about an hour I heard a cardinal calling in the neighbors yard. I grabbed the camera and captured the little beauty.

The pictures may not be the greatest, but that's not the point. The point is that God knew the desires of my heart and cared enough about them to give me the gift of the simple joy of seeing some deer and a cardinal. He knew what was on my heart before I had even spoken a word about it and He showed His love for me in these simple gifts. The Bible tells us the God cares for all of His creation even down to the smallest sparrow. If He provides for and takes care of a little bird, how much more will he provide and care for us? God shows us His love in big and small ways, we just need to take notice of it.

Hello park!

Benjamin has recently discovered the joys of being outside without the confines of a carseat and a carseat cover. He loves the grass and swings. We're avoiding sand for a little bit longer...I already do enough laundry as it is. There is a small park just a little more than a block from our house that I think we will be frequenting. Just hoping it won't snow again until November.

"Get in another line."

"Ten items or less, right?" These are the first of the very few words spoken to me by the cashier at Target today. No hello, how are you, did you find everything okay? I hadn't counted my items which apparently makes me a reckless customer, but it seemed like I only had about 10 items. To be perfectly honest I was a little preoccupied with the baby on my hip and I went to her line without checking because there was NOBODY around. She was just standing there with nobody in her line. Nobody walking toward her line. Nobody withing 20 feet of her line. Nobody. But apparently my two extra items were enough to push her over the edge and to warrent one of the most unfriendly transactions I have ever experienced. I did get a "thank you", but it felt more like a "thank you, but don't even think pulling a stunt like this again" if you know what I mean. It reminded me of that scene in "You've Got Mail" where Meg Ryan doesn't have any cash for the "cash only" line, only Tom Hanks didn't come to rescue me by charming the cashier. The whole experience was slightly uncomfortable, but highly comical. So thanks to the grouchy cashier for making my day more colorful and giving me a good chuckle.

It's the simple things...

Good morning to us! We were greeted by four little beauties out back during breakfast today. Osa (our dog) was whining at the door. This is typical for her as she is always on the lookout for squirrels, rabbits, chipmunk, deer, and the occasional raccoon. I peeked out the window to see what all of the fuss was about and just behind our fence were four deer, scrounging around for food. I suspect they came to eat the neighbors tulips. It was way too early to let Osa out as we knew she would bark and cause a ruckus, but when the clock dialed around to 8 I let her out and she bolted out the door toward the deer. At first they startled and were nearly ready to take off, but when they got a look at the 12 pound puppy coming at them, they thought better of it and continued milling around. One of them even laid down. All the while Osa tried to entice them to play with her by romping back and forth, sticking her rump in the air, patting at the ground with her front paws and even crying for them. It was quite the sight, and even though I know deer are not that uncommon it was a cheerful way to start the day.

Well good for your mom...

The other day I decided to treat myself to a new pair of jeans, so I hopped in the car, drove to the mall and marched into the clothing store baby in hand, literally. It was one of those stores where most of the employees probably just got their drivers licenses and the older ones were sophomores in college. Needless to say I felt a little out of place with a baby on my hip and my ripe old age of 32. At any rate I found what I wanted and made my purchase. The young "man" who was helping me looked at my ID and then looked at me almost as if he wasn't sure I was the woman in the picture. I joked, "It's me, but that's before the baby when I had time to fix my hair." He responded, "Yeah, my mom had five kids and she fixed her hair every day." Well good for your mom.

I love Jeff, Ben, Bob, and Gym

When my husband and I first became an "item", I spent many, many hours at the gym. The fact is I spent more time working out at the gym than I did with my fiance, but in my defense Jeff lived 6 hours away and the gym was just about a mile from my place. Jeff used to say to me, "I'm getting a little jealous of this guy, Jim. You spend more time with him than with me." That's my husband...always busting out the one liners.

Well my gym days are few and far between now. Well now there's a new man in my life. His name is Benjamin. I've traded in over-exercising for a baby and now finding time to hit the gym is a whole lot more difficult than it used to be. Jeff is great about making time for me to go when he can, but with his crazy work hours and do believe I'm going to find myself spending a lot of quality time with my new friend, BOB. I've only spent a little time with this guy, but I am totally impressed and I just know that once the snow melt off the sidewalks we're going to be pretty familiar with one another.


What I like about BOB Revolution (besides the pretty colors)...
Very easy to push
Great suspension
Large sun shade
Peek-a-boo window to see baby
Turns easily
Thick, durable tires

The Biggest Loser

"Don't worry, babe. You'll always be the biggest loser in my book." These are the words that came from my loving husband's mouth after I commented that I could have been The Biggest Loser. We still laugh over that comment almost every time we watch the show. If you are alarmed that a husband would utter those words to his wife, don't be! I loved it!

Five years ago I was a very different person. Of course some things about me have always been the same, but I wasn't really happy. I didn't feel good about who I was. I didn't value myself. I shut people out before they could shut me out. I worked really hard to be funny so that people would like me in spite of the way that I looked. In general I was sad and felt alone. Why you ask (or maybe you're not asking...just wondering how you got suckered into reading this)? Because I was fat. Seriously. Fat.

It's interesting to think back to what people said to me about my physical state at that time. I remember hearing that I was big boned, curvy, or "not that big". But really, I was big. I've seen pictures. I weighed over 230 pounds and was prehypertensive with blood pressure hovering around 135/95. But there was no need for numbers when it came to knowing that I wasn't a healthy 26 year old woman.

Have you ever seen an overweight, unhealthy person climbing a flight of stairs? It's painful to watch. Now imagine being the overweight, unhealthy person climbing a flight of stairs. Your breathing is labored. You are using the handrail, but not for balance. You're trying to give yourself a little help with each step, pulling on the railing to hoist yourself along. Now picture yourself at the top. You feel the need to stop so you can catch your breath, but there are other people around. Not just other people, but people about your age who have probably run 5 miles already that day. Embarrassment sets in once you remember what you've let yourself become. This all seems very dramatic I'm sure, but these are the thoughts that ran through my head five years ago as I climbed up a flight of stairs at my local college.

Really there was a series of events that lead to my decision to change my life. There were fat pictures, the episode with the stairs described above, the high blood pressure reading, going to the store and trying to squeeze my plus-size body into size 18 pants when really I was a size 20, and the breaking point....the scale. All of these things happened within a matter of weeks, but it was the scale that finally said to me, "Sarah, it's time to make a change." I remember stepping on the scale and it read over 230 pounds. What a shock. I mean I knew I was heavy, but that was a big number. With that number I was officially the heaviest person in my family. Much heavier than my brother. Much heavier than my dad. Heavier than everybody. I had to do something.

That night I was looking through the grocery ad trying to save a little money, and I saw that Lean Cuisines were on sale. I thought maybe I should give them a try to see if it would make a difference. So I went out and stocked up on the frozen meals. For the last two months of the school year I ate a Lean Cuisine and a light yogurt for lunch every day. That's it. That's all I did. I didn't exercise or eat differently at any other time of the day and by the end of the school year I lost 10 pounds. Then I had some real motivation and more importantly I had hope.

If I could lose 10 pounds by making a simple change in my eating I figured I could lose even more weight if I changed a few more of my eating habits. It was the beginning of summer vacation and I made a goal with a girlfriend to lose 15 pounds by the time the school year started up again. I began to watch the amount of food I was eating at each meal and the amount of desserts I was consuming throughout the day (and it was a lot, believe me). By the end of the summer I had shed my 15 pounds by decreasing my food portions to a "normal" amount and by cutting out several desserts a day. I still enjoyed my food and ate the type of food that I wanted, just a lot less of it.

School started up again and I was down 25 pounds. People who hadn't seen me over the summer noticed that I had lost weight and it felt so good. But shortly after I became discouraged because I wasn't losing any more weight. I was still over 200 pounds so I knew I wasn't done and I knew what I had to do if I wanted to be successful....exercise. A coworker of mine (a cute, little athletic marathon runner of all people) invited me to join her gym. She said it was small and the people there were great to work with. Of course my first thought was that the last place I wanted to go as an overweight woman was a gym with cute little athletic marathon runners jumping around in their cute little outfits. She assured me that people weren't like that there and that I should just visit and see what I thought, so I did and I then I joined. And then I really changed my life.

To start my fitness journey off I had lots of measurements taken and a trainer gave me advice for exercising. For my first workout I hopped on an elliptical and was completely exhausted and out of breath after 20 minutes, but soon my endurance increased and I started feeling my body change. About year of working out passed and I lost an additional 35 pounds for a total of 60 pounds. By this time my goal was in sight and I was starting to feel like a different person. My initial goal was to be able to fit into my prom dress (a size 13/14). I thought once I got to that point I would definitely be done with my weight loss because I could remember being a size 10 through most of high school and I was happy with that size. I kept plugging away and started going to group fitness classes like aerobics and my beloved SPIN classes. The weight continued to come off slowly but surely and I suddenly had the urge to train my body to be able to run a mile without stopping. By this time I considered myself to be fairly fit and in shape, but running wasn't something that I could do, nor did I really want to. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it if I tried. I began working my way up to being able to run a mile steady without stopping. Then I got the bug. Soon I was running for 3 miles without stopping and I felt like I had really accomplished something.

I thought I would be satisfied with my new abilities, and I was until I met my husband. Anybody who knows me well knows that I am competitive which is why when I discovered that my new boyfriend was running 6 miles during his workouts I just had to take it up a notch. After about 2 months I had gone from not being able to run one mile without stopping to running 6 miles. When coworker heard about my new love for running she suggested I run the Fargo 1/2 marathon which was three months away. My first thought was there was no way I could run 13.1 miles at once, but she urged me to consider it. For the next three months I trained and ran the 1/2 marathon in 1 hour 52 minutes. Through the process of training which included running, spinning and weight lifting I lost and additional 30 lbs.

After running the 1/2 marathon my weight loss totaled 90 pounds and my prom dress still didn't fit, but this time for a great reason. It was too big! After over 3 years of lifestyle changes I was the same size I had been in junior high and I had lost more weight than I ever dreamed was possible. But my struggle with weight didn't end by reaching a magical weight or size. I like to say that I was still a fat girl trapped inside of a skinny girl's body. I was dealing with the personal and emotional side of my journey even after the weight was gone. The process of repairing my self image has actually been the most difficult part of it all. Dealing with my own thoughts about myself along with disapproval from others who think that I "went too far" with the weight loss or exercise has been trying. My weight and size are something that I think about almost every day. I have to work hard to keep my view of myself and my body in check and to remember that my value is not wrapped up in numbers or what other people think of me. Some very dear friends have been a great support for me. My husband, Jeff, was especially helpful, encouraging, and supportive. But the most important part of understanding my real worth has come from knowing that I am valued and cherished by my Creator, no matter what my numbers are.

I have written all of this to say to anybody out there that needs to hear it..."If I can do it, you can do it." Each person has their own battles to deal with, and this was one of mine. Maybe it's a struggle for you too, but you can overcome it. If I could give you any advice it would be this: Ask for help, advice, and support. Take small steps. Make changes that are realistic. Find what motivates you (food journals, group fitness classes, a trainer, etc.). Do it for you. Just see what happens. If you give it an honest effort I think you'll be surprised how powerful you can be in changing your life.

Thanks for listening.

My slippers are great.....jealous???

Wearing layers and heavy socks during the winter is routine for me because I'm chronically cold, so when I saw my sister wearing a pair of Old Friend Scuff Slippers I became obsessed with them. I picked them up last winter and have been thoroughly enjoying them this fall. I anticipate that they will be on my feet every day from now until April....or until they are worn. Fuzzy, comfy, warm.

Laughter and Lattes are the Best Medicine.

Today I went out for some cold medicine and tissue. I accidentally got a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. Really the best medicine.

Seriously?!?!?

For some reason I got the urge to check out this lame excuse for a blog today...probably because I'm stuck in the house with a terrible cold and I don't have decent cable. Anyway, looks like it's been 364 days since I've done anything with this thing. One more day would have made a year?!?!? That's just terrible.

Why Biking in the Badlands is Harder than Spin

I'm an avid spinner. I love spin class and hate to miss it. The instructors at my gym are AWESOME and will work participants until legs are nearly ready to fall off. People have been known to vomit, that's how tough their classes are. So when Jeff and I went biking in the North Dakota Badlands this weekend I was feeling pretty good. Even though I knew the terrain would be difficult, I thought that I had this trail in the bag. Then we started biking and everything I thought was wrong! Spin class did not prepare me for the cliffs, rocks, ruts, or cow pies. There were portions of the trail that were literally a foot from the edge of a cliff and where the trail was so rutted out that we could not pedal. I am sure I walked my bike at least one of the many miles. An intense day of biking, but worthwhile in the end.

It's official...

I am the worst blogger ever. Nearly five months of blogging silence is truly pathetic. Not that I have an audience to disappoint, but it's fun to look back at previous entries.

Well since the Fargo 1/2 Marathon, Jeff and I got married, moved, went on a honeymoon, visited his family, and started school. Also I have discovered "Facebook" which, in combination with my laziness, has contributed to the slow death of this blog. But here I am trying to revive it. I'll probably be back some time in March.



Until then, let me show you one of my new favorite kitchen tools...

I love this apple corer by Martha Stewart. I found it at Macy's for $10.99. I didn't mind spending a few extra bucks on it because I've heard of cheaper brands breaking while being used. I prefer not to injure myself while attempting to be a healthy eater.

The Finish Line

Wow...I really stink at this blogging thing lately. Apparantly it's been 51 days because I just ran the Fargo 1/2 Marathon today. Uff da. Jeff and I met in Fargo and we both ran and finished. Yay! It is such a great feeling to cross that finish line. To check out the results visit the Fargo Marathon website.